LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) – Let me make this perfectly clear: 

I am not faster than Usain Bolt.

Certainly not in running. But not in brushing my teeth, walking my dog or trimming the bushes. There is nothing that I can do faster than The World's Fastest Man. Nothing.

I wanted to get this on the record today because it seems as if I am the only person in the world who is not chirping for a race with Bolt.

Rajon Rondo might have started this trend a few years ago when he said that he'd like to race Bolt, who would have to put down his gold medals in the 100- and 200-meter dashes to get to the starting line.

The other day it was Chris Johnson, the running back with the Tennessee Titans, who said he could beat Bolt under certain conditions. I'm guessing that the small print says Johnson gets a 15-meter head start and Bolt carries a bag of cement on his back.

Denard Robinson, the Michigan quarterback, couldn't leave it alone. He said he'd get a better start than Bolt and beat him over 40 yards.

Sure, Denard. Especially if one of your offensive linemen flattened Bolt at the starting line.

Concentrate on out-running Alabama first, young man.

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