Couples should never go to bed angry, right? Well, many therapists will tell you that piece of conventional wisdom isn’t good advice. Samantha Whiten is a clinical psychologist in Maryland. She called it a “fairy tale” to expect that all conflicts could be wrapped up quickly and lovingly before drifting off to sleep. She says couples shouldn’t fight when they are tired. Instead, take a pause and set a time to discuss the issue during the day. The key is to follow through. An anxious partner might see a pause as rejection. But they need the confidence to understand that a pause doesn’t mean the other will avoid the topic.