I'd like to speak to our members of Congress on behalf of all Americans.
We'd like those of you in Congress who serve us in Washington to know how proud we are of the way you've shut the government down. We admire how you, on both sides of the aisle, have dug in and refused to even talk about resolutions. You seem so strong to us.
We admire how quickly you rush in front of cameras to master the art of the perfect soundbite. That's much more important than negotiating.
We're thrilled to see you put a pause on crucial medical research. Those new cancer treatments and experimental therapies can wait. A few thousand sick patients can simply put their hope on hold. The "who blinks first" game is clearly more urgent.
What a fun game this is for us to watch from the sidelines. Sure, you've made air travel less safe, but that's a small price to pay to show the other side who's boss, right? We know you've made life very difficult for people who might live paycheck to paycheck and depend on their government salary, but the important thing is that you win, right? And you ARE winning. Like Charlie Sheen was winning.
Don't you worry about us! We sleep soundly knowing your salaries are constitutionally protected and paid on time. It's only fair that the grand performers get paid even if the stagehands go hungry.
You've been noble role models to our children. You've taught them to push responsibility as far from themselves as possible and blame the other side. Thank you for making parenting easier!
We are so proud of you all and we hope you win, whichever side you're on!
I'm the American people, and that's our Point of View.
