Charlie Strong

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) — The Monday Muse will not labor on Labor Day. He might return as the Tuesday Muse — or he might see you next Monday.

But his pal, Mr. Top Five/Bottom Five has graciously agreed to work the holiday. Somebody must separate the steak from the crushed cans in the parking lot during the first full weekend of college football.

I realize only four teams will make the college football playoff. In sports we’ve always ranked teams in groups of five — and how can you have a playoff discussion without at least one team howling they’re getting a horrible, no-good, very bad deal?

TOP FIVE

1. Clemson (1-0) — The Tigers were so overpowering on Thursday night that I turned off the ACC Network telecast because there was no reason for the producer to go to my former WDRB teammate Katie George on the Georgia Tech sideline.

(FYI, I returned to the ACC Network Saturday night, and Katie did excellent work during the Virginia-Pittsburgh telecast.)

2. Alabama (1-0) — The Crimson Tide lost its best defensive player to a season-ending injury and still limited Duke to 204 yards and no touchdowns.

My questions: Why hasn’t Duke been able to recruit the football edition of Coach K? Why hasn’t Alabama uncovered the basketball edition of Nick Saban?

Who’s going to retire first, Coach K or Coach Saban? Why don’t people call Saban his Coach S?

Do you think Coach K watches every Duke football game?

3. Georgia (1-0) — Former Georgia quarterback Justin Fields threw for 234 yards and four touchdowns in a big Ohio State win. Former Georgia quarterback Jacob Eason threw for 349 yards and four touchdowns in a big Washington win.

Georgia quarterback Jake Fromm threw for 156 yards and one touchdown in a big Georgia win.

Do you think any Georgia fans will grumble about quarterback play the first time Georgia loses? Not that college football fans think or act that way.

4. LSU (1-0) — The Bayou Tigers are loaded, and I haven’t had a single person suggest they’ve been handing out “strong-ass” offers. Makes sense. Basketball is the only sport where the Tigers might be willing to bend any rules.

5. Oklahoma (1-0) — I did have Michigan in this spot. Then I watched former Alabama starter Jalen Hurts rocket to the top of the national total offense board by putting 506 yards on Houston in the Sooners’ season opener.

Do you think any Alabama fans will grumble about quarterback the first time Bama loses a game? Not that college football fans think or act that way.

BOTTOM FIVE

5. Charlie Strong/Willie Taggart/Joker Phillips (tie) — It was only nine years ago that Strong/Taggart and Phillips were the faces of college football in Kentucky, three of the most acclaimed and observed African-American head coaches in the game.

It didn’t work for Phillips, who was bounced by UK in 2012. Joker will coach the receivers at Maryland this season.

It worked well for Strong, who won big at Louisville and parlayed that into a monstrous contract at Texas before getting fired.

It worked even better for Taggart, who won big at WKU and rode that to deals at South Florida, Oregon and now Florida State.

It didn’t work so well for Taggart or Strong last weekend.

Taggart blew a double-digit second-half lead for the second time in two seasons and watched Florida State get shutout in the second half and defeated by Boise State and its freshman quarterback.

Boo.

Strong’s USF team did not blow a lead. Strong’s team did not score. The Bulls got run in Tampa by Wisconsin, 49-0, in front of an announced crowd of 46,704 Friday night.

Boo.

Said Strong, “A very disappointing and embarrassing loss. There’s no reason for that. I thought I had them ready to play. Guess I didn’t.”

Apparently the Bulls didn't pack their offense or their defense.

4. UCLA — The word is that Chip Kelly’s contract with the Bruins averages about $4.6 million over five seasons. One game into Year Two, the Bruins have paid more than $1 million per victory — and lost twice by more than a touchdown to Cincinnati, which is paying Luke Fickell half what Kelly earns.

3. Big Ten West — Jeff Brohm lost at the buzzer as a double-digit favorite for the second consecutive season. Northwestern has a pair of high-pedigree quarterbacks in T.J Green and Hunter Johnson. Green is the son of former Indiana star Trent Green, who later starred for the Kansas City Chiefs. Johnson is a 5-star recruit from suburban Indianapolis who bailed on Clemson after Trevor Lawrence came to town.

They should be better than the basic Northwestern quarterback.

Not really. They combined to complete 12 of 27 passes for 117 yards with two interceptions and no touchdowns as the Wildcats lost to Stanford, 17-7. Nebraska looked overrated. Ditto for Minnesota. Lovie Smith has a better team but I didn't see any improvement in his beard.

On Wisconsin in the Big Ten West, it appears.

2. Bobby Petrino — Give Scott Satterfield credit for everything that goes right Monday night. Give the old guy the blame for everything that goes wrong.

Notre Dame coming to Louisville for the first time ever was supposed to be a glorious moment in the evolution of Howard Schnellenberger’s vision for this program. Instead it’s a game that I can’t make a rational case for the Cardinals to win even though the point spread has dropped from 20 1/2 to 18 1/2 since Aug. 26.

Wasn’t supposed to be this way.

1. SEC East (2-3 non-league games) — Tennessee must ask if Jeremy Pruitt is an upgrade from Butch Jones or Derek Dooley; Missouri discovered the Tigers need Clemson-level linebackers and defensive linemen as much as they might benefit from having the Tigers’ former quarterback (Kelly Bryant). South Carolina made Mack Brown an early contender for Coach of the Year.

Thank goodness for Kentucky and Georgia.

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