Coffee with Crawford | Time Out: No Blue-Ribbon brownies? That’s half-baked

No, this topic isn't exactly sports. But it is competition. And brownies are good with coffee now and then. Read on ...

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) -- Stop the presses. Alert the governor. Somebody put down their deep-fried Oreo and pay attention. We've got a brownie brouhaha on our hands.

The Kentucky State Fair's culinary judges have issued their verdict in the coveted brownie category: no first place awarded. Second place? Sure. A ribbon for the runner-up. But no blue ribbon. Not one batch of brownies out of nearly 50 was deemed worthy of the vaunted, hallowed state fair top spot.

I feel like some perspective is missing. Perhaps there is a disconnect between the judges' deliberations and the surroundings. This isn't The Great British Bake Off. It's the Kentucky State Fair. There are livestock 200 yards away relieving themselves.

"It is a competition, and we have high standards," culinary department superintendent Michael McGaha told WDRB. "And if your baked good is there, you will get a first place. If it's a second, you'll get a second. If it's a third, you'll get a third. All of these items in here are good, OK? It's just not what the judges are looking for according to their criteria."

High standards? Sir, this is a Wendy's. No, wait. With all respect, this is a place where you can win a ribbon for pickled cauliflower and dehydrated mushrooms, or get a corndog the size of a Louisville Slugger. (OK, I don't think you can actually get that corndog, but I just thought of it, and it's pretty cool. Maybe next year.)

Somewhere between the swine showmanship and the deep-friend zucchini contest, you're telling me there's no such thing as the best brownie?

I need to say, McGaha isn't the judge. The judges are from the University of Kentucky. And brownies weren't the only category without a winner. Some, apparently, gave no ribbons at all. And, on some level, I can appreciate the "no participation trophy" vibe of all this. But again, it is a fair. (And, Aaron Trent informs me on Facebook, everyone does get a participation ribbon.)

Step outside the door into the real world, and they're selling donut burgers, deep fried pie and something called Grater Taters.

I say give the second-place baker the blue ribbon and a supply of chocolate chips. They've earned it. If you're the best of 50, you're the best. Period. A down year in brownies? Sure. But down years were made for us regular people. You shouldn't be punished because some powdered sugar fell unevenly or because you used a gasp boxed mix. (Which, let's be honest, might've improved a few of these entries.)

Competitions have winners. This isn't soccer. God knows, I've seen plenty of games of all kinds where both teams played bad, but even those wound up with a winner.

I'm not saying we abandon standards. I'm saying maybe bring our self-importance down to a simmer. You don't go to the State Fair looking for a Michelin star. You go for nostalgia. For community. And yes, for baked goods that would make your granny proud, not send her storming to the information booth demanding a recount.

So here's to the nameless second-place hero, the person who brought their best and got "good, but not great" in return. You didn't just bake a batch of brownies. You exposed a system.

You are the people's champion. And in our hearts, if not our stomachs, we all know you finished first.

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