CRAWFORD | Laughing so we don't cry: Setting the stage for Governor's Cup week

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) — I typed “Kentucky vs. Louisville point spread” into Google. It said, “You’ve got a real problem, buddy.”

This isn’t a rivalry. It’s a wellness check.

This year, it’s the Sad Sack Bowl.

Louisville | Kentucky | Indiana | Eric Crawford

Louisville has lost three straight and has scored two touchdowns in the past nine quarters (plus overtime). In a 38-6 loss at SMU, Jeff Brohm tweaked the offense from vanilla bean to vanilla extract. Didn’t matter.

Kentucky just got turned into roadkill at Vanderbilt. The Commodores led 45-3 before retiring to The Gulch. They won 45-17. Mark Stoops looked like a guy trying to remember the password for his Apple ID.

Louisville was missing its starting quarterback, two starting running backs, star punt returner and receiver, and one of its top linebackers. Kentucky is minus six defensive backs and assorted others.

Live stats for the game will be available at MyChart.

So, here we are.

The old rivals stumble in like a pair of bar brawlers who forgot what they were fighting about.

You want keys to the game?

Don’t fumble the coin toss.
Don’t pull anything in warmups.
Keep the punter’s leg iced.

Let’s break the teams down.

Louisville: Once 7-1 and dreaming of the College Football Playoff, now they’re having night terrors about third-and-anything. The passing game has ground to a halt. They didn’t throw for enough yards at SMU to get back to the locker room. The receivers are open, but only emotionally. Louisville threw for just 20 yards in the second half. I don’t even have to write a joke for that. The defense is hanging in the best it can in a what’s-the-point situation.

Kentucky: Having won three straight games in what looked like a late-season revival, they gave it all back in a four-touchdown loss at Vanderbilt that players hope their grandkids don’t someday discover in a YouTube rabbit hole. Midtown Nashville used to be known for gold records. Now it’s known for passing records, and Diego Pavia torched Kentucky for a career high. His mother got more airtime than Kentucky’s quarterbacks.

The Wildcats were so bad that Nate Bargatze was laughing at them.

Is it possible that these teams might, for once, actually be happy to see each other?

Do I even need to keep talking about the game?

This isn’t a game you preview, so much as prepare people for. Throw out the playbook. Bring a priest and a prescription.

I asked Siri to set up a calendar reminder to write a “How to Watch” story. She said, “You know, there’s a lot of other stuff on.”

The Governor’s Cup? You’ll be able to recognize the governor. He’ll be the guy in sunglasses and a fake mustache saying, “We’ll get through this together.” I’m not so sure.

But we will show up, if not for football then for group therapy. I’m assured that someone has to win. But I’m not sure the person who assured me of that watched the three overtime games these teams have played this season.

Whatever. Let’s do this. I’m psyched.

The winner gets bragging rights. The loser gets a visit from their offensive coordinator’s realtor.

You’ve been a great crowd. I’ll be here all week.

Actual serious game talk to come, I promise. Fair warning.