LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) -- A group of women are coming together to share the pain domestic violence created in their lives and how they managed to overcome it.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. And in two days, people can show support by attending "Unsilenced" --- an opportunity where attendees can join survivors and learn from their stories.
It's a topic that's often avoided.
"It proliferates a lot of different homes that you wouldn't necessarily think that if you see someone on the street, you might think, well, they're doing great or they're very successful or they're a strong woman. I hear that a lot and then they are a victim of domestic abuse," Ify Whitfill said.
Whitfill grew up in a home with a lot of domestic abuse.
"It is uncomfortable and it is very anxiety-provoking to talk about this," Whitfill said.
But Whitfull wants to talk about it now, because she says not many people do.
"It doesn't matter what age you are or what the house looks like, people come and go from households with divorce, new marriages or blended families and things like that, so like at any stage, I think, it can happen," Whitfill said. "And just being aware that there are resources out there,."
Domestic violence is thought to be underreported. Experts say it can be physical, emotional, financial, psychological, or verbal.
And, data shows millions of Americans, including Shahrzad Javid, are affected every year. Kentucky has the second-highest rate of domestic violence in nation.
According to data from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 45% of Kentucky women and 35% of Kentucky men experience intimate partner physical violence and/or rape in their lifetimes. On a typical day in Kentucky, local domestic violence hotlines receive more than 19,000 calls.
"It kind of starts as you get loved bombed and and all these things and you don't realize what's happening and the control starts and you think you're saying 'yes' to and you know, not seeing your friends and family, so you really become more isolated. So everything's very gradual," Javid said.
Whether it's stress-related or power-related, officer Amber Ross is providing a network for other survivors to lean on.
"Some people knew that I wasn't being treated right and people are always saying, 'you deserve better. You're such a good person. You can do so much better,'" Ross said. "But, unfortunately, domestic violence individuals when you're in that only you can tell yourself when the time is right and when it's time to move on and you deserve so much better."
Ross will host a discussion on Monday to address the root causes of domestic violence and offer resources. The mom of two says not many people knew what she was going through for five years.
"All the ladies on the panel. They are surviving. They're thriving. They are doing so well in life with their kids, their careers, and they are not turning back," Ross said.
"You want your voice to be heard. You feel like you're suffocating. You feel like you're being silenced in so many ways. So it's just it's just really important to listen, keep your eyes open, keep your ears open towards you know, for people," Javid said.
"It's important to not say well, why don't you leave sooner? Why don't you you don't question the victim like that, you know, you make sure that they know that you're there to support them, and you want to help them," Javid said. "There are resources out there, they're safe people, and I was fortunate and unfortunate to have the village that I have the friends and family that I have. Not everybody has that."
Five panelists, providing encouragement and inspiring people to ask for help.
"Just remember, it's never your fault. Never ever your fault," Ross said.
"Just be aware that you can change and that you can take steps to be different," Whitfill said.
If you want to ask your own questions, you can join their event and listen to their panel on Monday.
It starts at 6 p.m., at Roots 101 African American Museum on North 1st Street in downtown Louisville. It's free to attend.
The Center for Women and Families' emergency hotline is 1-844-237-2331. The 24-hour hotline provides crisis response, emergency shelter, sexual assault services and more.
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