LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) -- Retired Louisville Metro Police Sgt. Andre Bottoms said seeing protesters against racial injustice clash with police in “his city” was “heartbreaking.”
"Especially those first couple of nights when it got really bad and the looting and all of that," Bottoms said. "I just hated to see that because I've been in Louisville all my life. I love the city."
Bottoms retired from LMPD last week.
For days, hundreds of protesters have taken to Louisville’s streets to protest police brutality and demand justice for Breonna Taylor, a black woman who was shot and killed by police serving a "no-knock" warrant on March 13. Kentucky State Police and the FBI are investigating the case.
Bottoms said he felt caught in the middle.
"I felt like I should be out there protesting with them or at least saying something, because I understand, and I didn't want them to feel like all police officers are that way. There's even white police officers that even feel their pain and want to stand by 'em."
Protests began nationwide after a white police officer knelt on the neck of George Floyd, a black Minneapolis resident who later died. The officer has since been charged with second degree murder.
Bottoms said he, too, watched the video.
"It brought tears to my eyes,” he said. “I was sickened by it."
Bottoms said he struggled to find the right balance between his duty to protect and serve, his identity as a black man and his empathy for the protesters.
"I do feel their pain. I understand, being a black man and growing up in Louisville, I've been through the same experiences they have," Bottoms said. "I've been stopped several times when it wasn't warranted."
Bottoms, who has won awards as a police officer and also served in the military, said he has had some close calls out of uniform. Police once confronted him with guns drawn.
"The only thing that kept me from getting shot was my training, knowing what to do. So, I complied with every order they gave, I did exactly what they said until they felt comfortable that I was a police."
Bottoms said he also has had surprising confrontations with the same community that he was sworn to protect and serve.
"Especially the black community because they looked at us as betraying our race because we became officers," he said. "So, they would say, 'You work for the man,’ or, 'You're an Uncle Tom.’”
Bottoms retired last week, after his second stint with the LMPD. In a lengthy Facebook post, he shared some of the good, the bad and challenges of being a black police officer.
Since last week, the post has been shared several thousand times.
“I made it public; a couple of people asked me to share it and it took off," Bottoms said. "Most, I'd say, 95%, is positive. There were some people on there just saying all kinds of crazy stuff. Some of them, I tried to message back and say, 'If you want to have a conversation, I'd like to know why you feel this way … and I can tell you what I meant.’”
Bottoms said he still loves the department and community and has no regrets about dedicating nearly 30 years of his life to protecting and serving.
He said he was helped and encouraged by a lot of commanding officers.
Bottoms is finishing a college degree, and has not ruled out wearing the badge again.
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