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'I feel a lot of things. Most of it is guilt.' | Bank employee among hundreds at vigil honoring victims, survivors of Louisville mass shooting

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) -- The city of Louisville came together to grieve and remember victims and survivors of Monday's mass shooting. 

Hundreds of people attended a community vigil Wednesday evening at the Muhammad Ali Center to "pray for healing for those still receiving medical treatment, and work toward a more peaceful city."  

"We are all in pain right now," Louisville Mayor Craig Greenberg said. "I know how you feel. My team knows how you feel. I know everyone I've spoken to since Monday is sharing some version of this same experience."

With arms wrapped around each other, shoulders to lean on and familiar faces to hug Louisvillians took the time to try and heal their hearts and honor the five people who walked into work at Old National Bank on Monday morning and were killed. 

The five bank employees killed in the shooting were Joshua Barrick, 40, a senior vice president; Deana Eckert, 57, an executive administrative officer; Tommy Elliott, 63, also a senior vice president; Juliana Farmer, 45, a loan analyst; and Jim Tutt Jr., 64, a commercial real estate market executive.

Made with Flourish

"Whether you knew some of these wonderful people who were killed on Monday or not, we come together this evening to acknowledge that every violent death is tragic," Greenberg said. "However it happens, whenever it happens, to whomever it happens, when we are talking about the lives lost to violence, there is no hierarchy of grief. There is only the shocking reality that someone who was here, is suddenly gone. And feelings of grief, confusion, anger, fear, and the sense of loss and vulnerability. We are also here to support the victims who survived. Whose lives have been impacted by physical and mental wounds that will take time to heal."

Speakers at the vigil included politicians, community leaders and clergy members from the state and city, including Barbara Sexton Smith, Louisville Metro Police Chaplain Dr. Teresa O'Bannon, Greenberg, Gov. Andy Beshear, 3rd District U.S. Rep. Morgan McGarvey, D-Kentucky, Archbishop Shelton Fabre, Kentucky State Sen. Gerald Neal, Rabbi Beth Jacowitz-Chottiner and Dr. Muhammad Babar.

"Tommy, Josh, Juliana, Jim, Diana. Fathers. Mothers. Grandparents. Children. Friends. Each one a child of God," Beshear said. "These are irreplaceable Kentuckians taken far too soon by a senseless act of violence that is certainly making me feel heartbroken. And I think all of us torn. Acts like this tear at the very fabric of humanity of who we are and certainly of who we want to be. It's in situations like this that we ask 'How? How do we possibly move through this?' I think the answer we've learned these last several years is together." 

In the crowd of hundreds were employees of Old National Bank. Among them was Ellen Nichols, who is on maternity leave.

"We lost colleagues, friends, mentors," said Nichols, who was home Monday morning with her newborn daughter. "I had a friend in law enforcement call me and said 'Ellen, where you at?' And I said, 'I'm at home.' He said, 'Oh thank God, because there's a shooter at your bank, and it's not good.'"

Nichols should be planning to return to work May 1 at the bank in downtown Louisville. Instead, she's left grieving her coworkers. 

"I feel a lot of things," she said. "Most of it is guilt, knowing I should, could've been there," she said. "Just knowing I was supposed to be there and I get to see another day and my colleagues don't." 

She sat among coworkers and strangers on Wednesday as pastors, rabbis, doctors and politicians all tried to offer words of comfort. 

"While my faith is tested, and it may be even shaken, I do believe, and I still believe," Beshear said. "I believe in a loving God that one day will explain to me how this can happen. And I believe in heaven. Which means while the body is mortal. The soul is eternal. And, Tommy, I will see you again, and we will see all these incredible individuals again."

IMAGES | Community vigil honors victims, survivors of Louisville mass shooting

While there are still many questions about why the lives of five people were taken, the focus right now is on remembering them. 

"That's what we all need: prayers, love and support," Nichols said. 

Jim Ryan, the CEO of Old National Bank, was also at the vigil and took to the podium to offer words of comfort and support to bank employees.

"I can't tell you how important and appreciated your support is right now," Ryan said. "There are no adequate words to describe what happened Monday morning. There are no adequate words to describe the pain the victims' families are feeling right now. There are no adequate words to describe the heartbreak our Old National family is feeling. To the families and friends of these individuals, please know that we are here to pray with you and for you, and to support you in any way."

For those wishing to help and honor the victims of Monday's shooting in some way, Ryan said "giving blood is a great option."

"If I can offer one closing thought, it's this: The greatest way we can continue to honor everyone who has been impacted by this tragedy is do our best to follow their example," Ryan said. "We need to love one another. We need to care for one another. And we need to support one another."

Standing at the podium, Beshear grew emotional as he spoke words of comfort to the crowd. Monday's shooting hit home for the governor, who said he lost one of his best friends that morning. 

"I lost one of my best friends on Monday," he said. "But I've got two friends, and more, that survived, because LMPD got there in about three minutes. I want to thank you all."

The focus of the vigil wasn't just to remember the lives lost Monday but the lives of those who survived and those who are still fighting, including LMPD Officer Nickolas Wilt, who was one of the first on the scene. A rookie officer, Wilt had graduated from the police academy just 10 days before Monday's shooting.

Moments after arriving on the scene, Wilt was shot in the head. He was rushed into brain surgery at University of Louisville Hospital where he remains in critical but stable condition, according to hospital officials. Since then, there has been an outpouring of love and support for Wilt and his family. A fund was set up by the Louisville Metro Police Foundation to raise money for Wilt's hospital bills and recovery.

"I want to mention a few words about officer (Nickolas) Wilt, who bravely ran into the line of fire," McGarvey said. "I met with his family yesterday in the hospital, in intensive care. His mom had just seen the body cam footage. His mom said she was looking at his hands to see if he was scared. They never shook. And that's my child. Whenever anybody was in trouble, he ran to help them." 

Many who spoke at Monday's vigil also took time to thank the first responders and law enforcement.

"By now — if you can, and I struggle — you maybe watched that body cam footage that shows these heroes rushing directly in, without pause, without regards to their own safety because they knew lives were on the line," Beshear said. "Heroes like LMPD Officer Nickolas Wilt, who's fighting for his very life for doing the right thing. And officers like CJ Galloway, who, after being hit himself, stayed until the entire scene was secure. They did that for us, for our friends, for people we care about and for our loved ones. I give them thanks, personally, for their selflessness, for their bravery, and I pray and I hope everybody else joins me, praying for officer Wilt's healing."

"In the darkness of this week, I'm so grateful to the people who have brought light and love, hope and compassion," Greenberg said. "I'm talking about the police officers who risked their lives to save others, the medical teams who saved lives on the scene and in the hospital (and) the Metro 911 call-takers and dispatchers who helped get our first responders on the scene fast enough to save lives."

As the community comes together and begins to heal, the mayor called on residents to lean on one another.

"It's important that we take time to acknowledge those losses and what they mean for us as people and as a community," Greenberg said. "We have to do that so that, later, we can gather our energies and focus on preventing these tragedies. There will be a time to act, to take steps in honor of those we've lost and to channel our grief and pain into meaningful action. That day is coming. Today is to mourn, to lean on each other and support each other. This is a time to ask each other 'How are you doing? What do you need?' and to really listen and really respond. To answer honestly when someone asks you those questions. We were not meant to go through tough times alone, and, luckily, we don't have to. We've seen that this week as well."

Old National Bank Memorial

Some speakers at the vigil took the time to call on lawmakers to pass laws that could prevent something like Monday's shooting from happening again.

"Like you all, I'm really fatigued and frustrated on this nonstop, vicious cycle of deadly shootings in our nation," Babar said. "Like you all, I'm dead tired of posting hollow words and prayers on the social media after each incident of mass shooting. Therefore, today I just want to plea (to) you all, and the leaders of our great nation, that it does not matter whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, whether you live in urban spaces or rural communities, whether you own a gun or not. Please do something. Because we all just want this epidemic of death to end, which is weighing down our nation. I know that we all bleed red. I know that we all want our children to be safe in their schools. I know that we all want our loved ones to return home every evening for supper. So then we share (the) same aspirations and hopes, then why we can not agree on finding solutions to curb this endless cycle of violence?"

There were also calls for love, empathy and compassion from leaders as the city navigates how to move forward. 

"What we need right now, in one word, is love," Beshear said. "In a world where we hear a lot of arguments, a lot of anger, where people try to appeal to hatred and division, how about just love? Love for one another. Love for even those we disagree with. Answering words of anger with words of love. Love, compassion, humility, empathy. They've got to be able to lead us to a better place."

Before he left the podium, the governor encouraged those who attended the vigil to go home and hug their families, call their friends and tell them how much they care about them.

"Because one thing that I know that we can do is we can live for the fallen, and we can live better for them," he said. "We can be better. We can be better family members, better dads, better moms. We can be better community members and we can be better people. Let's commit that, to them."

On the terrace of the Muhammad Ali Center, the vigil concluded with a community singing of "Amazing Grace."

The center posted on social media that "Muhammad and Lonnie Ali wanted the Ali Center to be a place where the Louisville community could come together in good and bad times. We are thankful to host this important gathering as our city begins to heal."  

Watch the vigil in its entirety in the video player below.

The vigil took place Wednesday evening.

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